The Intentionality of Waving Goodbye
Chapters open. Chapters close. And just because you see it coming doesn’t make you any more prepared for the tidal wave that is looming emotionally. What are we feeling when chapters close?
I’ll tell you what I’m feeling right now. Because today, I close the chapter of San Diego and move on to a brand new and exciting future. The transitions of life are riddled with oxymoronic emotions. You’re happy and sad. You’re ready and terrified. You’re eager and oh so hesitant. Overwhelmed and yet exhilarated. It's a cocktail of emotions with no warning label, and you find yourself drinking every last drop.
The day before yesterday, I had the privilege of doing a podcast with a sweet lady whose life was just as colorful as mine. We’ve both been through the trying chains of life and broken free from toxic and undeserving situations, and even self-imposed calamity. We’ve done the work and we’re talking to each other as survivors—and while we have no visible bruises, the internal scars are written in ink no one can see. As she spoke, I could see the black and blue marks on her soul. I could feel the little girl inside of her who still quivers with uncertainty about how strong she is capable of being. And yet, in her voice, I also heard the triumphant anthem of resilience.
New chapters are terrifying. Why? Because you just don’t know. One of my favorite speakers, Les Brown, says, “People prefer known hells to new heavens.” Well you know what? I’m not people. I’m a champion of my future, and today I press on to explore new heavens.
What if it doesn’t work out?
Pause for effect—and cue the rainstorm sounds.
Okay.
But, what if it does work out?
Dear reader, what if it does?
What if the happiest you’ve ever been in your life is waiting for you after you wave goodbye? But, you have to wave. You have to choose to release the old with intentionality, not by accident or by dragging your feet. We must be purposeful about embracing change because when we just go through the motions and walk through the next door aimlessly, here’s what happens: we forget our responsibility to become.
Becoming isn't automatic. It’s a deliberate, daily choice. It's the brave act of letting go of identities and habits that are too small for the life ahead. It’s standing naked in front of your future and saying, “I trust that something better is being built inside me—even if I can’t see it yet.”
New chapters aren’t just new places, people, and things. No, it requires a new YOU to realize itself. Waving goodbye—whether in your mind or physically (I recommend the latter)—is a sacred ritual. It’s a way of telling yourself: I honor where I have been, and I courageously step into where I am going. Life isn’t happening to you. You are happening on life.
Here are 5 questions in the acronym of WRITE that I believe are worthy of your time and attention when it comes to entering a new chapter:
W (WHO) — Who are you serving during this new chapter?
R (REQUIREMENTS) — What will this new journey require of me that wasn’t required of me before?
I (INTENTIONALITY) — How can I be intentional about enjoying the process of this change?
T (TIME) — How can I make time for myself to process all of these changes?
E (ENERGY) — What thoughts will boost my energy to hit the ground running?
Allow these questions to help shape your focus during the shaky ground of life changes. Another favorite quote of mine from Les Brown is, “You’re either on the way to a problem, in a problem, or just got out of a problem.”
Dear reader, whether you feel it or not—problems follow us like germs. And just like doctors recommend, all you can do is keep yourself clean and not worry. Keep your mind clean by washing your thoughts with positive reinforcement. It helps me to actually picture my brain covered with the suds of healthy thinking—each bubble bursting with hope, faith, and clarity.
In Philippians 4:8, Paul said, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Change is scary. But guess what is scarier? Stagnation. Life moves on us for one amazing reason: because we have better versions of ourselves to meet. Our lives are seasonal.
Think of springtime like when you are in a good rhythm. Your money is okay, the kids are doing well, you have some changes to make, and the hardest part is just getting everything on the calendar.
Summertime in your life is when you get a boost. Maybe it’s great news or you meet someone wonderful. The kids are happier than they’ve been in a while, and you finally have your time divvied up in a way that makes you feel accomplished and at peace at the end of your work week.
Fall is when something changes. Maybe it’s a move, or you leave someone—or someone leaves your life. It’s feeling lonelier than ever, even if you’re in a house full of people. Things aren’t going great on all fronts, but hey, you’re alive and still working hard to keep the faith.
Winter—oh, the cold and frigid winter season. Things take a turn for the worse. Work feels like a life sentence on Devil’s Island. The kids are your blessed correctional officers. Food doesn’t even taste the same. Life is feeling like a hamster wheel of obligation. This season is always the most deceiving because things “look” dead. They actually do. Life has voided itself from the equation, and there’s a whisper in the wind that says, “It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.” — Groundhog Day quote, which I couldn’t resist.
But guess what? On this side of heaven, seasons inevitably change.
It’s one of God’s little secret promises stitched into the fabric of creation: nothing stays the same forever. Not even the coldest winter.
Just for kicks, let’s dig into the word inevitable and the actual definition:
Inevitable means something that is certain to happen and cannot be avoided or prevented.
Winter is always followed by spring—not sometimes. ALWAYS.
So, when it comes to major changes—there is actually nothing to fear, though feelings of terror do creep into your mind. Fear is just anxiety with teeth. It hurts. Fear doesn’t feel good and its bite can debilitate your thoughts. But just remember, it can only bite you if you let it in. Fear is a stray dog looking for a home—don’t feed it. Overcome fear by reviewing the answers to the WRITE questions.
Give yourself a pat on the back because most people resist change. But you’re not most people, are you? No, you are an overcomer. You are more than a conqueror, and you were built for this.
Here’s to new beginnings, to waving goodbye with intention, and here’s to fearless steps forward.
Until next time,
Maria 🌹
