Why Do Bad Things Happen To Me?

Life is unpredictable, isn’t it? One moment, everything feels steady, and the next, the ground beneath us gives way. Someone is badly injured, and the pain ripples far into the future. Someone dies. Someone walks out of your life, maybe forever. A diagnosis arrives, leaving you shattered. Or someone says words that cut so deep you wonder if they’ll ever heal.

Why do these things happen? And, more importantly, what are we supposed to do when life takes such a turn? Is there even a way to rise above these moments—to find a state of bliss, peace, and acceptance no matter what life throws at us?

The short answer: no. But don’t click away just yet—stay with me while we unpack what to do when life hands you lemons that turn out to be grenade-shaped and blow up everything you thought you knew.

The Aftershock: Emotional Whiplash

When bad things happen, the emotional aftermath can feel like a tidal wave. Here are three common responses people experience when hurt strikes. Let me know if any of these resonate with you:

Feeling Shortchanged
The immediate reaction is often to wish you could turn back time—five minutes, five hours, five days—because back then, life was still good. Or at least better than it is now. There’s a sense of injustice: “Why me?” you think, as you grapple with how chaos can exist in a world where seasons, gravity, and mathematics exist in perfect order.

Looking for Someone to Blame
When the dust settles, our minds naturally turn to the question: “Who’s responsible for this?” We replay events, searching for answers, hoping to uncover how this happened and, more importantly, how to prevent it from ever happening again.

Grieving Deeply
Sometimes, tears aren’t enough. You want to scream, punch something, or take your heartbreak straight to God and demand restitution for every tear you’ve shed. Grief is raw, messy, and impossible to ignore.

So, What Do We Do?

I’m no expert—I’m just a 34-year-old woman navigating life on this wild planet. But I know someone who is an expert: God. Let’s explore these emotional stages through His lens, guided by His word.

When You Feel Shortchanged

Feeling shortchanged hurts—whether it’s from people, circumstances, or even life itself. But God sees you, and He sees your pain. Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Trusting God with what feels unfair can lead to peace you never expected.

But here’s the tricky part: guarding your heart. Bitterness can take root quickly when life feels unjust. Ephesians 4:31-32 encourages us, “Get rid of all bitterness… Be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness doesn’t mean letting someone off the hook—it means freeing yourself to move forward, trusting God to handle the rest.

And when the shortchanging comes from loss, especially death, the weight can feel unbearable. Yet God meets us in our grief. Psalm 34:18 promises, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” And Jesus reminds us in John 11:25-26, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”

Let His comfort hold you. You are not alone.

When You’re Looking for Someone to Blame

Blame feels natural in moments of pain. We think it’ll give us clarity, but God calls us to something deeper.

Take Job, for instance. He lost everything—his family, his health, his livelihood. If anyone had a right to blame someone, it was him. Yet his response was stunning: “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21). He trusted God’s plan, even in his heartbreak.

Or consider the story in John 9, where Jesus’ disciples asked, “Who sinned—this man or his parents?” about a man born blind. Jesus shut it down, saying, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (John 9:3). Not everything bad is about blame—sometimes, it’s about God’s greater purpose.

Jesus Himself wrestled with surrendering to God’s will. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39). Trusting God isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it.

Forgiveness is key here, too. Colossians 3:13 urges us, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” It’s not about saying the hurt was okay—it’s about choosing peace over resentment.

When You Just Need to Cry

God doesn’t shy away from our tears. Psalm 56:8 says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Every tear matters to Him.

Even Jesus wept. When His friend Lazarus died, Jesus cried openly, despite knowing He’d raise him moments later (John 11:35). Crying is not a lack of faith—it’s a deeply human response that God embraces.

Matthew 11:28 invites us, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” And Revelation 21:4 promises, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.”

Let your tears flow to the One who cares for you deeply.

Why Do Bad Things Happen?

The hard truth is, we don’t always get to know. God’s plans are bigger than our understanding. Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

But here’s what we do know: God’s heart is good. His plans, even when they hurt, are filled with purpose. And while we may not get answers, we can trust His love to guide us through the pain.

What’s Next?

Your job isn’t to have all the answers—it’s to trust the One who does. Bring your questions to God. He isn’t threatened by your doubts or fears. In fact, He invites them. Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find.” (Matthew 7:7-8).

God’s love is big enough to hold your pain, your questions, and your hope. He sees you, hears you, and promises to never leave you alone in your sorrow.

So, when life hands you those grenade-shaped lemons, remember: God is still writing your story, and the next chapter might just surprise you with His grace.

Trust me, I get it—I really do. You’ve heard it all before: “God knows, trust His plan, trust the process.” But here’s the question—have you actually done it? Have you truly surrendered? Embrace the freedom that comes only from letting go of your own will, dying to self, and living fully for Jesus.

This isn’t a one-and-done decision. It’s a daily surrender—morning, afternoon, and evening. So, my question for you is this: Have you surrendered your way for God’s way today?